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Proper

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Everything posted by Proper

  1. I like to imagine it were that simple, but it isn’t. This community has always been combative and remains so today, and that’s just how it is. I think if communication gets more normalized even with that combative nature it’ll be overall better though.
  2. I want to make something clear, before I even begin writing: Nothing I am writing here is intended to target any person or people, nor is it going to be because of or 100% about a specific situation. I don't have a stake in any sort of disagreement either now or previously and therefore don't have an opinion on anything that may have happened with anyone, so please just take this at face value and don't try to find any hidden meaning because that's not what this is for. My reason for writing this is a little strange, considering my past here and how out of nowhere it is. I don't find myself very involved in Ret matters these days, but I do sometimes check in and see what's happening. However, I will never turn down an opportunity to post a preach-y essay here. Something I learned rather recently was how important communication was. Communication is a very broad subject and spans across all human relations, so to say "you need to be better at communicating" or "you suck at communicating" or "this needs better communication" can sometimes be very unhelpful and vague, especially if someone DOES need improvement. Communication, in my eyes, comes down to two things: speaking and listening. Speaking includes communicating how you feel - about a person, a subject, an idea, or more - in some way to the person it may affect. This can include addressing a long-term conflict directly with them or with a third party who can help, addressing a recent issue that bothers you, clearing up a miscommunication from either end, or just being honest about how you feel about a change or idea. These are all much easier said than done, especially when one party may fear negative backlash from another. Alternatively, if they are like me, they may avoid communicating in this way because they are really bad at taking criticism and can only interpret it as a personal attack even without wanting to. Regardless, there are ways to open avenues of this type of communication, and the benefits go both way. Person A may feel angry about something Person B is doing, and can clearly see what they are doing is wrong, but instead of saying anything or doing something to try to resolve this issue, they do the opposite of what they feel: reaffirming Person B's actions and letting them know they should continue, either directly or indirectly. This negatively affects everybody: Person A, because they will live with that cognitive dissonance (essentially, mental conflict that won't be resolved); Person B, because they now believe they're not doing anything wrong and shouldn't evaluate their actions; and in the sense of Retribution, the community suffers from Person B's actions. It may be hard to be open about your opinions and how you feel, but it is important to overcome that hesitation and fear. I will take a moment to be specific about a situation involving me. When I was in Retribution, I was a lot younger and had a lot of opinions about myself and about people that weren't always fair or correct. While I don't remember much of what happened that led up to my ban, I know I never admitted to being wrong. I also allowed myself to get into a hole of constant validation from people who did not have Retribution's best interests, or mine, at heart. It was a difficult time for everyone, and MANY people feared standing up to me because they knew they would be shot back at by people who aligned themselves with me. Instead, some people took to validating my actions by saying I have done a lot for Retribution and am a valued member of the community. While it's understandable why these things all transpired the way they did, and I won't sit here and blame others for not being able to put up with that mess (honestly probably would not have done much), it's important to understand that communication early on may have at least helped to deter this all from happening. What's done is done, but I hope that those who saw this all happen will know how to stop it if someone else, or even myself, start to pull that shit again. The other type of communication is one that I would like to stress the importance of quite a bit, and that is listening. In tandem with speaking, it is almost more important to be able to hear that person trying to communicate with you. Person A may open up healthy, constructive communication with Person B and Person B will simply shut them out and not hear a word they say. This does not resolve anything for Person B or for their community, and may even result in an overall negative consequence when they are later attacked for their attempt (in an extreme case, of course). This, above all things, is the result that people fear when it comes to trying to communicate honestly with those they believe are acting poorly. There is very little Person A can do in this situation except hope that a higher up, in the case of Retribution, is able to resolve it for them. However, that is why I am posting this today. When it comes to listening to someone who disagrees with you, or whom you disagree with, it's a lot easier to simply shut them down for reasons that seem very obvious to you. If you feel very strongly about an idea or change, and someone says "actually this kind of sucks", the first thing your brain might do is say "well that person isn't valid to say this, they're wrong and it's pretty clear so don't even bother hearing them out". Obviously, this is not the case with everybody, but speaking from experience, this does happen a bit more commonly than you'd think. It's pretty easy to just not realize that that is happening, and it's oftentimes not even done maliciously. All of that being said, I am brought to my main point for this post: it is important to listen to every side of a conversation occurring. There are times where something happens, either in Ret or in life, and you feel so strongly about this change being good and necessary that you will not entertain anyone who disagrees. Again, this is often not done maliciously, but solely because that's just how we operate as humans sometimes. Our conviction can be so strong that it overrides everything else, and that's okay. But when it comes to these things in a community, it is important to at least let the other side of an argument say what they think, because they, too, are a human with strong convictions about that same ordeal. Additionally, it's important to hear the other side so that you can know just how strong your arguments for an ordeal are. The best way to iron out all the details of your conviction and your belief in something is to hear someone who sees those holes in your argument already, or at least, may believe they do. Either you will find a way to strengthen your argument, or you will realize that the original idea may not be as necessary or good as you first thought. Overall, it is good to be in the habit of letting all people feel free to voice their opinions without backlash or ad hominems, otherwise another me might crop up and god knows nobody needs that. While I know this will be interpreted as being directed at specific people or about a specific event (I will be honest, this was inspired by a specific event anyway), I do not mean it to be a "callout" by ANY means, and I will not tolerate people using this post to shit on others for anything. My purpose for this is to hopefully let people know that while they may not be intentionally doing these detrimental things, it's important to be able to catch yourself doing it and try to steer away from that behavior. I don't think anybody in the community is actively working against Retribution or working in their own self-interest, so again, I am not trying to attack ANYONE. I promise. I know there will be memes and that's fine, I just hope y'all read this and it resonates at least with someone. Also if u disagree anywhere with my points pls quote and respond, because I had a hard time phrasing this properly and I'm sure there are points I'm incorrect about. Either way, opening a conversation is healthy and important tldr be honest with how you feel, and listen to people when they disagree, even if they end up being wrong.
  3. What happened to leaving forever huh
  4. Lol @ people saying this is a professional fucking document or even represents one. As someone who is 100% out of the loop on this ENTIRE situation, this document doesn’t attempt to inform well enough at all where it said it would inform those not in the know; not to mention the really terrible grammar mistakes and punctuation which just confused me half the time while trying to read it. Blackmailing is serious, and I don’t know how you would ever intend to defend someone for blackmail without any proof or valid explanation. Your attempted explanations were weak and seem to disregard exactly what Blazen did because...I couldn’t fucking tell at all what you were trying to say and I only knew what he even did when I read the replies. Why did you even post this?
  5. What does this have to do with anything?
  6. His point was that you are being tasked with disproving that you'll abuse, which is what Goldfishie was afraid of. You saying that you want the job badly does not disprove that and therefore your response to Goldfishie is lackluster and, to a degree, kind of pointless. Saying Lemon doesn't "truly" know you (" so you can make your opinion when you truly know who I am ") means literally nothing in the context of this application. The community is voting on how you present yourself across ALL RetributionRP platforms, so why does 1 person who is giving valid skepticism and feedback to you need to DM you to ""know"" who you are? It doesn't matter who you truly are. You're trying to gain power on this server, and in order to do that effectively, you need to have the trust of the community beforehand. He's asking you to prove yourself; that is the point of an application. Your entire goal here (and frankly leading up to it moreso, but whatever) is to prove to the community that you can be trusted. So yes, people will come into this with the assumption that you cannot be trusted if they 1. do not know you, and 2. know you to be a bad player. It's your job to earn trust and prove people's assumptions, experiences, or opinions differently if that is your goal. The way that you argue instead of taking in criticism tells me you can't be trusted imo. I do not trust someone who does that; and you may think that you are taking in criticism, but I see you responding to some of these posts getting defensive about valid criticism.
  7. I started the trend just saying I’m a trend setter just sayn
  8. I think this just goes to show there should be a more specific definition of the rules against advertising, or maybe a complete revision. Regardless, that’ll be up to the Supers, and I hope they do intend to improve based on the discussion here. We should probably return to the topic of Incarnate’s application now.
  9. What’s wrong? Gonna spill some tea? Maybe yaaaaasss and wig? Anyway face update lol meme me
  10. My point is that they are both specifying a date for when they’re posting their application, and I want to know where the cut off is. Plus, we must not lose sight of why exactly that rule is in place. Regardless of whether or not it can be truly considered advertising, at the end of the day he was not trying to advertise to get votes or views on his application. I think that should be factored into this situation at least, even if it’s determined that he was breaking that rule.
  11. I want to offer a counterpoint worth considering with the advertising deal: Would it also be advertising to say “I’m going to apply as soon as my cool down time for applying is over”? Or to say “I’m gonna apply in two weeks”? Because I think it’s sort of unfair to count “I’m applying on Halloween” as advertising if not.
  12. To be fair it’s not like he’s posting useless shit. He’s improving on the feedback he got which is the entire point of feedback. Bad reason to -1.
  13. Okay I’m not sure which date it would be then so I could be mistaken
  14. @goomy said reapply in 7 days on the 23rd. It’s the 29th. I think you’re applying too early. That aside: You are intensely argumentative, as seen on your previous application. That’s not a good thing for a staff member in this case. Debate/disagreeing is healthy to a degree and must be done so appropriately, but the way you argue does not accomplish much very effectively. You need to know when to argue a point and when to realize you’re wrong; being unable to do so will get in the way of staff duties/concerns and will slow both yourself and the team down. You have been caught breaking numerous rules in the past 2-4 weeks. I have little to say about that. You need to wait longer and prove that you can tackle the major issues you struggle with. This is something that you cannot exactly right in less than a week, and I would hope not to see these issues in staff because they’re very basic issues that can cause a lot of setbacks when they should not.
  15. Not to involve myself into random things or start drama (seriously) but there’s no need to resort to ad hominem when it comes to identifying faults in applications. It’s a totally valid point to say her activity would be a concern here and it doesn’t matter if the person saying it isn’t active themselves because they are still correct to say so. Looks very immature and unreasonable and I honestly personally dislike seeing it happen, because it’s definitely not just one person at all. I won’t vote or repeat what others have said but I will reaffirm that you’re good staff Polly. I hope you remain active and get right back into the community.
  16. A really good idea actually.
  17. This thread is a disaster on all parts tbh I won’t lie I only got on the server for like 20 minutes but it is a little underwhelming, especially since it looks like all anyone is doing is just grappling around the map and yoinking pumpkins but I was also on at a rly early hour so I don’t think my frame of reference is tht accurate. Regardless the p2w is pretty eh but that’s Ret for u, the 2017 event was pog as fuck even with the instability but I don’t see it being replicated again especially without people like Crome, Pigeon, Deathie, and Klaus in the community anymore. Overall ur all yelling @ each other for like half valid reasons, maybe take the personal feelings out of it man sadface
  18. I don’t know anything about keemo or these situations being referenced but if this is true, it’s disgusting and borderline illegal. There’s no place for sexually harassing children here, even if you are only 15. Jesus
  19. Or another server that you are accountable for
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